Barokshelach’s Domain

On their way to a restaurant to celebrate their golden wedding anniversary, the wife noticed that her husband almost in tears.

“Honey, you must have been thinking about those years that we’ve shared together” she said with a sweet smile.

The husband took a deep breath…trying to regain his composure…

“Yeah, you’re right. I am thinking about that very night when your father poked his gun to my head and forced me to marry you or else he will send me to jail for 50 years.”

This time the his tears flowing on his cheeks.

“Imagine, if I had the courage to say no, I could have been a free man tomorrow!”

- Author Unknown

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I can imagine how hard it is to live with somebody you do not love. Every night will be the longest night of your life. People in this kind of situation would rather be with friends than go home and stay with the spouse. Most situation like this happens in the oriental countries where marriage is regarded a divine act and the society is more critical and perhaps prejudice against broken marriages. There, a man coming from a broken marriage are more often have low self esteem. He is wary of how the community/society will treat him or her.

I am critical about this so called Social Standard. Who made the standard anyway? Why do we allow ourselves to be imprisoned by or under the control of this Social Standard? Are we bound to satisfy it?

Definitely, this standard is humanly structured. There is a compelling need to follow or observe the law or constitution which is a classic example of a humanly structured social standard. Otherwise, we will have a chaotic society. But the law was instituted to maintain social order. It is more of rendering justice to the oppressed. What if we were in a situation where we do not love our spouse anymore? Will it be taken against us if we decide to part ways with our spouse and look for someone whom you think will give you the happiness you are looking for?

We often make mistakes, especially in this regard. How can we straighten it? Only by being honest to yourself and to your spouse. I don’t know. Will somebody tell me your point of view?

As I listened to the last two speakers at the forum that I attended yesterday, I felt the need to update myself academically. It’s been 5 long years since the last time I joined a forum like that. I still remember during my school days at ATS (Asian Theological Seminary) that we form a Theological Forum and it went well.

Our first invited speaker at that time was Pastor Ed Lapiz and the topic was “Cultural Redemption”. Another interesting forum that we initiated was about the “The Theology of God, Man & Creation.” The second mentioned forum was triggered actually when the then newly installed VP for Administration (if my memory serves me right) of ATS ordered the cutting of the old Santol tree that was planted just few feet away after you entered the main gate. The Theology Department and some of the progressive students reacted militantly upon seeing the old tree being cut down.

“Imagine, it took 35 long years for that tree to grow just to be cut down in an hour! And what about the more than 300 people who benefits from the oxygen that emits from it?!” Obviously, people were demanding for explanation and much more, for a retribution. To express our protest, we conducted that forum discussing “Theology of Man, God and Creation.” After the forum, the then Vice President planted several trees as retribution for what he did, and all the students were encourage to plant trees also.

I miss those days…years that passed took me away from my books and from my inner community (The Theology Department). As I listen to Jun Manalo and Kuya Boy Baustista deliver their piece, I know that I need to revisit my library. Not to walk away from the university of the street and hide within the exclusivity of my library, but to feed myself of the learning that I am hungry with.